Money trumps Happiness

Really? It does?
Yup, sure does. Bring on those greenbacks!
Happiness is important, yo. Don't be an idiot. Money can't trump happiness ever!
Yeah well, money is important too. Don't you have expensive taste in make-up?
Make-up makes me happy, therefore it does not matter what it costs.
okay, how the holy hell are you going to buy the make-up without any money, you incredibly dense fucknut?

This internal monologue brought to you by the House of Insanity-AKA- The brain of Erin

So there you have it. My decision was made. I am foregoing happiness for a chance to earn more money. I'm not really stoked on the tech support position at all, but I understand that in these dark economic times, I am lucky to get offered such a plump-paying position. I have made peace with my decision, I have, but every morning at my doggie job, I am reminded why I enjoy working there so much. I spent 15+ minutes sitting with a kitty, while he head-bumped me and licked my nose. I sat on the floor of a kennel (room) with a crazy pug, just playing and cuddling. Dog slobber, cat hair and really cool people = a really fun place to work. I am extremely sad to see it slip away. I try to remain cavalier about it, when I am there."no big deal, I will see you guys if you ever call me in." but I am super bummed. Even bummed enough to call my mood melancholy. Melodramatic, maybe, but I only have 2 days left and I really really really don't want it to end.
Enter in another fab tidbit. I take my Waste Water Operator 1 test on Saturday. I have been cracking the books like crazy. I have been quickly reminded that even though my class ended in June, I should have continued to study at least a little bit each month. I feel like I am in quicksand. I can't remember anything from my class. I am going over all this stuff my buddy put together for me (thank god he did. Without his help I would be up the proverbial creek without a fuckin' paddle) and I am lost. Am I panicking because I am nervous? Probably. What if I fail? The ones that have taken it say I will pass, but what if I don't? How big of a failure will I be!?!! Oh my god, I will be SO embarrassed if I don't pass. I should have studied more. I should have started hitting it a long time ago. I just figured that it would be better to study the week before so it would be fresh in my brain. Yeah, look at me. Writing in my fucking blog because the studying is making me want to throw up. I swear, I am my own worst fucking enemy. I am lazy and I make stupid decisions.
Sometimes I just want to kick myself in the head. Why do I make everything so difficult for myself? Any normal person would say, "hey! you do that because you like to be challenged. A struggle invigorates you!" Yeah, no. I don't like it, yet problem after problem comes up and I consistently make it messy. Now I've gone and riled myself up.
Anyhoo, back to the books.....