Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Holy flying fuckballs!!

Ok. So I realize that the vulgar language is not needed, but there is a good reason for it- I swear!

I passed, people, I really passed. For realies. I PASSED MY WASTEWATER TEST!!!!!!!!!!

I can't say much more, as I am to relieved and way too flippin' excited.

Thursday, October 2, 2008

Money trumps Happiness

Really? It does?
Yup, sure does. Bring on those greenbacks!
Happiness is important, yo. Don't be an idiot. Money can't trump happiness ever!
Yeah well, money is important too. Don't you have expensive taste in make-up?
Make-up makes me happy, therefore it does not matter what it costs.
okay, how the holy hell are you going to buy the make-up without any money, you incredibly dense fucknut?

This internal monologue brought to you by the House of Insanity-AKA- The brain of Erin

So there you have it. My decision was made. I am foregoing happiness for a chance to earn more money. I'm not really stoked on the tech support position at all, but I understand that in these dark economic times, I am lucky to get offered such a plump-paying position. I have made peace with my decision, I have, but every morning at my doggie job, I am reminded why I enjoy working there so much. I spent 15+ minutes sitting with a kitty, while he head-bumped me and licked my nose. I sat on the floor of a kennel (room) with a crazy pug, just playing and cuddling. Dog slobber, cat hair and really cool people = a really fun place to work. I am extremely sad to see it slip away. I try to remain cavalier about it, when I am there."no big deal, I will see you guys if you ever call me in." but I am super bummed. Even bummed enough to call my mood melancholy. Melodramatic, maybe, but I only have 2 days left and I really really really don't want it to end.
Enter in another fab tidbit. I take my Waste Water Operator 1 test on Saturday. I have been cracking the books like crazy. I have been quickly reminded that even though my class ended in June, I should have continued to study at least a little bit each month. I feel like I am in quicksand. I can't remember anything from my class. I am going over all this stuff my buddy put together for me (thank god he did. Without his help I would be up the proverbial creek without a fuckin' paddle) and I am lost. Am I panicking because I am nervous? Probably. What if I fail? The ones that have taken it say I will pass, but what if I don't? How big of a failure will I be!?!! Oh my god, I will be SO embarrassed if I don't pass. I should have studied more. I should have started hitting it a long time ago. I just figured that it would be better to study the week before so it would be fresh in my brain. Yeah, look at me. Writing in my fucking blog because the studying is making me want to throw up. I swear, I am my own worst fucking enemy. I am lazy and I make stupid decisions.
Sometimes I just want to kick myself in the head. Why do I make everything so difficult for myself? Any normal person would say, "hey! you do that because you like to be challenged. A struggle invigorates you!" Yeah, no. I don't like it, yet problem after problem comes up and I consistently make it messy. Now I've gone and riled myself up.
Anyhoo, back to the books.....

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

What do I do? Help!

Panic, table for 1 please!
So, the tech support gig offered me the job yesterday and for quite a bit more than they offered back in Febuary. I haven't heard from the poop plant about the internship (though, I have emailed twice) and I am currently sitting at my receptionist job, that I like a lot.
What do I do? Do I take the good paying job, on the chance that I might never break into the wastewater industry?? Do I rest on my laurels (sidebar- what the fuck is up with that stupid expression and why the hell did I just use it??) here at my little paying job and hope to still score an internship and just buckle down finance-wise? Maybe I get a different second job (ditch the winery gig, since there have been no hours from there) that pays ok and maybe that would balance out?
Anyways, totally freaking the fuck out over here. Not sure what to do, where to go. My brain is going in 5 million different directions and I can't even being to settle on a decision.

Monday, September 15, 2008

I'm baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack!!

Queue the creepy Poltergeist music....which makes me kinda sad to think about cuz didn't that poor little blond girl die during the 3rd one? Cardiac Arrest or something yucky. Poor thing, anyways.. here I am. Remember that whole "I'm not going to let my blog go stagnant and I am going to nurture it and blah blah blah? Yeah, I didn't really do that. My apologies. I'm back and I am back with a vengeance. Lots of stuff on my mind today, so sit back and get ready for the verbal vomit!
Doesn't life have a way of just suddenly popping up and smacking you in the face? I lie, I was actually thinking that life has a way of just all of the sudden smacking you in the nuts, but then again, thankfully I do not have nuts so really I couldn't tell you how it feels if life sucker-punches you in them. I would imagine it hurts bunches. Anyways, you get my point. Your sitting there, all comfortable in your pitiful role of languishing and bitter housewife then all of the sudden..BAM! Hello! I am life and I just cold-cocked ya.
7 months I was unemployed. I was bored and miserable and not much fun to be around. DOn't say I wasn't cuz near the end, I was even pissing myself off! Now, I have too much on my plate and I am starting to want to rip my eyelashes out ( I would have said hair, but eyelashes seemed way more painful).
Job #1- I am employed by a nice little family winery to completely reorganize their wine club and make them a bit more organized and functional. The pay is decent, I work from home (which is wicked weird and not very structured) and's a job. Bumbling idiot's come to mind, but at least they are nice an leave me to my own devices. There is something to be said for being your own boss. It's fucking lovely. The ability to work in various stages of dress and with a cat on my lap is also a huge plus.
Job #2- I work from 6:30AM to 12:30PM Monday through Thursday as a receptionist at a place called Fit 'N' Furry. It's a dog/cat and critter boarding, grooming and daycare facility. Though I preform all the duties of a receptionist, I get to play with all the dogs in doggie daycare and cuddle the kitties that are boarding. The pay is awful, but I am nice and happy there. The animals are awesome and I like all my co-workers. Let me reitterate, the pay is terrible. Seriously, I haven't made this little since I worked for minimum wage back when I was 15. I enjoy it though and sometimes that's just a tad more important than the money. Though, I don't know how long I can stick it out making that little, but damn it if I don't work with the cutest bunch of animals ever!! I do enjoy all the creatures.In fact, I like them more than I like most humans. After 17 years of solid customer service, there is a bit of my sanity coming back and just the faintest glimmer of contentment.
Class- I am taking a Tennis class on Monday and Wednesday evenings and I LOVE it. Good excersise and it is rekindling a love that I have harbored for a long time. I forgot how much I loved playing and I never realized how much I missed it.
Internship- I have applied for an internship at a local poop plant. I went for an interview last week and I think I would be a really good fit there. The only thing I am waiting on to see if THEY think I am a good fit for them and if they could work around my wonky-ass schedule. This internship will be taking place around my dog-job hours and all day on Friday, which is my day off. I WANT IT BADLY. It will give me the experience (on paper) that I need to get an Operator-in-Training gig. Maybe they will look past the fact that I have boobs (albeit great ones) and say "hey, she has already worked in a plant and for FREE no less!!! Let's hire her!!"

Now, enter Life and the painfull flogging. I got headhunted. Seriously no fooling! Someone actually called me and said "hey! we liked you way back when and we want you to give us another shot". Should feel good right? The ego should be preening a bit, yes? Yeah, NO. Remember way back in February when I got an offer for a tech support gig for winery software and I turned them down? Well, they called me last week and wanted to know if I would be interested in coming in for another interview. There had been some "restructuring" of the company and they wanted to see if I would be at all interested again. Well, curiosity and guilt (guilt because I make no money) got the better of me and I went in last Friday. The interview went uncomfortably well. I should hear from them this week.
Why now? Wasn't I just an unemployed lame-ass for the last 7 months? Why does all this shit have to go down now? I wish I would have known that poop plants have internships (maybe something my professor could have mentiontioned????) and I would have applied WAY earlier! Why did that company keep my resume, even though I turned them down? Why does the one job I love pay so little? Why why why? Fuck me gently with a chainsaw. This blows.
Now I am in a total quandry. If I get offered the tech support gig, then I will be making good pre-lay off money and it will be 1 stable Monday thru Friday job. I can be a run-of-the-mill worker bee in a job that I am ho-hum about until a job comes up in a wastewater plant. Done. No crazy schedule. No back and forth between 2 jobs. Nice paycheck every other week that allows us to have our cushion back in our checking account.
The other scenario: I stick it out with the bad paying jobs, all the while hopefully working in my internship to gain experience in the ONE industry that I want to be in. The lack of money will force us to SERIOUSLY tighten our belts and be miserable and then we will have to eat Ramen. Lots and lots of Ramen. Now, I enjoy those salty little noodles as much as the next guy, but fuck, that is just bleak. I guess it all hinges on the fated internship. If I get it, it only makes sense to take it and deal with the Ramen and lack of social happenings. If I don't, then it is on to the sensible well paying job, that is IF they offer it too me. Sigh, sigh and a triple, super pathetic siiiiiiiiiggggggggghhhhhhhhhh.

On a happier note: The boys have almost completed their rail car and the Regatta is in 2 weeks. For those who have no clue what I am talking about, go to the weldedsykkellen blog link that's posted on the right. The 4 boys include my husband and 3 of our dear friends. They have spent many many hours building and creating this car and they have almost finished. I am SO proud of them for sticking it out : )

What else? Gee, I think the 5 million paragraphs above pretty much cover it. I could add a couple flowery little things and other fun happenings that have been going on, but I gotta get to Tennis class. BTW-sidebar-My ass is looking great and I can FINALLY zip up boots that go to the knee AND, I am down 2 pants sizes. Woo-hoo! Sorry, I had to give myself a shout-out. It's just with all of the walking, hiking, tennis and trying to eat right, I am finally seeing results and it's the first time in a looooooooooong time that I have actually been comfortable in my skin. Yay!

I bid you all adios.

Thursday, July 24, 2008


To all who read my mindless ramblings, bitchings and musings:

I love and appreciate all of you SOOOOOOOOOOOO much.

Please tell at least 2 people how much you love them today! (I'm not sayin' you have to stick to 2. If you wanna tell everyone you love them, that is cool with me!)

I know, strange post. I am feeling very Hallmark cardy right now.

Friday, July 18, 2008


Why is it that people say they will call you by the end of the week and never do? Why can't they just say, "we will let you know"? By saying they will call me by the end of the week, I naturally assume that, hey, I will get a call by Friday. Here it is, 3:13PM on Friday and my phone ain't ringing. I'm not desperate, but me sitting around the house staring at my fucking phone and waiting for that call makes me feel like I am. It makes me feel week and stupid and, blech...desperate. I hate that. Oh well, it's still early...maybe he will call and say " Erin, we would absolutely LOVE for you to come work with us as a technician. You are exactly what we have been looking for." Maybe....

Sidebar: why the fuckity fuck can I never spell technician right? I always spell it technition. Secondly: when I spell it wrong, why does technician NEVER come up in the dictionary options? Frustrating...this is me being all frustrated and whatnot.

Monday, July 14, 2008

updates and such

You know when something is new and you can't stop doing it cuz it's fun and exciting and different and Then, that something becomes old and mundane and a constant reminder of all the time you have and they fact that you don't have a job and that you you know that feeling?
Well, that's how I feel about my computer. In the beginning, it was fun to sit outside for hours and plug away at my laptop, write on my blog and chill. Now, I just kinda stare at it with disdain. But that doesn't mean I should cease to write right? There's so many witty pundits and critisisms out there, all waiting to be put in my blog. I admit it, I let my little blog go stagnant. Like a plant not being watered, my words were all dried up and bitter. The problem was that I just didn't have anything of any value to say. Nothing funny, nothing witty, nothing even angry. I am here to say that I am back, ready to write. Ready to bring you back into the world of Erin, as crazy and rambunctious as that may be.

The most recent thing of note is a job interview I had today. It was a tech/driver gig for a coffee company. For all you office people out there: You know those coffee services in your breakroom that always work and never cease to run out of coffee? Well, I interviewed for a position to be the person that fixes those machines when they break and bring you all the coffee your office can handle. Also, installing new machines for new customers. I was super excited about it for 3 reasons. #1: I could continue to deliver excellent customer service while not being chained to a desk and be more "hands-on". #2: the job would teach me light plumbing, a skill worth it's weight in gold and which would transfer over nicely to a wastewater gig. #3: I love coffee and working with it would be cool. The guy liked me. I answered all the questions extraordinarily. I looked great, but not too great cuz I didn't want him to think I was way too girly for the position. Translation: I left the heels at home, wore a nice pair of khaki pants with my best mary-jane docs and a cute cardigan with a nice camisole that showed off my...assets nicely cuz quite frankly, a good pair of boobs only helps things along right? Right. The employment add asked for someone with a mechanical mind (I got's that) and someone with good customer service skills (I gots that in spades) and also that there was no experience necessary and that they would train. Sweet, it's a win-win. I gots this gig in the bag. And it would seem so. The guy even said that he wished he didn't have any more interviews and that he really like me! Here is the only caveat, and methinks it's a big one. He asked me if I would be interested in "Sales". Sales, huh. Say with me folks..."Sales". For those that know and love me, they know that I would rather lose my big toe than to do "sales". There really is no reason to keep putting "sales" in quotes, I just think it makes it look more don't get all grammatical on me ; ) Why would it I be interested in "sales"?? Did I apply for a "sales" position? No. I sure didn't. Oh yeah, I'm a girl, so naturally I should be interested in "sales". How fucking sexist is that? I don't want a "sales" job. I want the tech job. I nicely reiterated that I was really more interested in the tech position. He said that he just wanted me to think about it, just in case he interviews and hires another applicant that has more mechanical experience. Which I get, I really do, but FUCK. Also, he said that I would have to pass a drug test. I said "that's fine, I have no problem with that". Then, this is where a bit of the sexist thing comes in again...He also said that should I be offered the tech position, that I would have to pass a physical. One that makes sure that I can manage all the "heavy lifting". Let me just say that the sentance prior to him telling me that little nugget was "Most of our machines weigh 20lbs and there is one that is too heavy to lift on your own, regardless of how strong you are, so anyone would need help lifting that". So, a question enters my he thinking that I am going to have a problem lifting 20lbs?? Do I look like a delicate fucking flower? I told him that I had no beef with the lifting and in fact I am stronger than I look. I went on (because at this point I needed him to know that just because I have a vagina instead of a penis, I can do manual labor and I felt I had to prove myself, shit...I digress...) anyways, I went on to say that when I worked at the winery that I regularly lifted cases upon cases of wine and champagne and that I could carry 2 cases of bubbly, each weighing 48-52lbs each, with ease. That seemed to drive my point home and he went on to tell me how much he liked me. Yay, point Erin. I just don't get it. I would never assume that because of ones gender, they could only do certain jobs. Hey, there are jobs I gladly leave to the boys. The dudes on Discovery's "Deadliest Catch" is one. Another is a prison guard. Not at a county jail, but at a maximum security deal. Even then, I don't begrudge a girl the opportunity to do those jobs at all. Go for it. I guess I am just frustrated. I think the frustration stems from the fact that it is proving super hard to get into the wastewater field, and I know it's because I am a girl. It's cool though. I will take my operators test in October and I will pass. I will keep plugging along, hoping that some Plant manager takes a chance on me. Who am I fucking kidding... I am hoping I apply at a time that they have to filll their State required "girl quota" and I will gladly take advantage of my "weaker sex" then : )

So there you go. Erin as of 3:02pm, July 14th. 4 cigarette's in and a little bit lighter due to walking 3+ miles a day. I could catch you all up on the mindless day-to-day crap that has taken place since my last post, but I don't wanna. I will say though that my neighborhood went OFF on the 4th of July. Hell, the neighborhood behind us lit up the sky like a war-zone. It was awesome!

Bye for now friends. I will try to post more here on out. Promise : )