Jobless

It's my first day of being completely jobless and it is weird. I have worked since I was 15 and never been without a job. Here is a little Erin history. I got my first job when I was 15 at Costco. I left Costco just 2 months shy of my 11 year Anniversary. I was 26!! Not a bad run for a first job eh? The reason I left was because I got a great gig at a Korbel, the very popular and affordable champagne. I was to be the wine club coordinator.Basically, an office /admin assistant that supports the WC manager. Korbel, Kenwood, Lake Sonoma and Valley of the Moon wineries each had their own wine club (kind of a wine of the month type of thing). After 3 years in the coordinator position, my evil cunt of a boss decided to leave and open an over priced boutique and I got promoted to manager. 2 years busting my ass as manager, creating a wine club empire with over 8000 happy members. Just me and my assistant. Unfortunately, the winery paid me shit and there were some executive changes being made that didn't bode well for me, so when Krisztina told me about this snazzy help desk position, I got the rock on out of the wine industry and went into the mortgage biz. Which has currently led to me still being in my pj's at 9:40 AM, cup of coffee in hand and a shower being in the near future. Needless to say, the mortgage biz has brought me to my current position. Jobless.
I'm not really worried. I have a pretty good resume and goddamn it...I am a good employee. I just have never NOT had a job. I have always left a job, cuz another one was lined up. I really thought I was going to be with Homecoming's awhile. Yesterday was sadder than I expected. No tears were squirted or anything, but there were some emotions bubbling under the hard exterior. Saying good bye to certain people just left me kinda...I don't know, vacant? sad just doesn't sound right.The people that I will miss I will most assuredly keep in contact with, but it still sucks when I won't get to see or chat with them everyday.
Well, I had better get in the shower. Krisztina and I are doing a lunch and shopping combo : )

Ugh

Yep, that's all I can say. Ugh.
Ya wanna know one of the worst feelings in the world?Being all snug and cozy in bed, cats on your feet, having a great sleeping pill induced dream, then rolling over and looking at the clock and that annoying little red screen says 5:30 am. I was supposed to be at work 30 minutes ago. DAMN!!! So it is a crazy mad rush to get the fuck ready and get the fuck out of the house. In my sleep stupor, I completely forgot my coffee and have nothing to eat for breakfast. If this is an inclination how the day is going to go, then I am going to crawl under my desk and go back to bed.
Christmas is over. Let me do my happy dance now. I can't stand that fucking holiday. When did it become such a corporate "buy this and you HAVE to have that" kinda holiday? I guess it's always been that way, I just notice it more as I get older. The one good thing about yesterday was that my whole family was together for breakfast and dinner. My brother and sister in-law and my parents haven't spoke in over a year. It made for really sucky holidays. My sister in law emailed my parents 2 weeks prior to xmas and asked them to come over for xmas dinner. It was awesome. To make the day even better, Ricks parents and his brother (with wife and both nieces) were also there. We didn't have to divide the holiday between families and there was an end to a ridiculously painful feud. Now THAT is was xmas is about. Not presents, not the tree or the lights (though, I do love xmas lights) not It's a Wonderful life or The Christmas Story playing over and over (whatever happened to the BEST xmas movie ever White Christmas??? The stations never play that one. Bing Crosby, HELLO??) whoops....tangent... anyway, Family and being together is what the holiday's are about. Everyone talking, eating and hugging. Normally, I am not so mushy.I was standing in my Sister in laws kitchen, everyone was laughing and opening stuff. My nieces and nephews were running around, prime rib was in the oven. I stood there in silence and was completely serene. I said to myself, "This is the best Xmas ever". It was nice : )
That was the only present I needed.

Once upon a time....

In the spirit of creativity and complete lack of better things to do, I have created a blog. For the life of me, I don't even know what the hell blog means. For working as a tech support lackey, I'm not so on the up and up with the geek stuff. Whatev. I'm not going to punish myself over it.

First, I apologize to to Krisztina for giving her crap about blogging. So far, it's actually nice. It's kind of liberating knowing that I am sending my words out to the great oblivion. I can choose whether to tell my friends/family that I have a blog, or not. People can read what I have to say, or not. Dang, this is actually kinda cool. I hate it when Krisztina is right.

Here's the thing. I am not good at writing about my thoughts/feelings. I have been told that I am intimidating and blunt and not very touchy-feely. With that being said, being a blog virgin and all...when reading my words , be kind.

I will start by giving the bliss full "oblivion" a synopsis of some of the things that make up Erin.
First off, I am kind of a weird girl. I eschew new things and new technology. I long for the times when things were simpler. When kids could play until the streetlights came on and your friends actually had the time to hang out, not just send you emails/texts (though I must admit, I enjoy both emails and texts). Everything is so computerized and automated. Sterile and cold.
In addition to wanting to live in the 50's, I would have to say that I am a bit of a tom-boy. I hate shopping "just for the sake of shopping". Though I do my hair and make-up, but I absolutely cannot stand the time it takes me to get ready. I love poker and golf and going to Giants games.
I hate my clothes, but don't want to shop for new ones. I would live in my Doc Marten's or flip flops if I could (though I will admit that I look slammin' in stiletto's) and if I never had to wear a dress again, I would be ok. I have no internal filter and tend to say whatever comes to mind. Verbal diarrhea if you will. I love anything that has to do with art. I love to paint, though I spend no time doing it anymore. I wish I could find a profession that would pay me to doodle all day. In that respect, I really wish that I would have studied art in college. Maybe even gone to the Art Institute.

I live in a constant state of worry and regret. I worry about EVERYTHING. I worry about so much, that I could probably start a separate blog on just the things I worry about.
The regret thing, I guess comes with age. There are so many things I could have done differently. I wish I would have really payed attention in High School and cared about my grades. I wish I would have picked a career and went to college for said career. I wish I wish I wish.

It's not say that I am completely un-happy with the course my life has taken. I have a happy marriage. I am alive and somewhat healthy and live a comfortable existence. I have a wonderful family that I am ridiculously close to. I have 2 handsome nephews and 2 gorgeous neices.

I have plenty of skin left for my next tattoo.

This is a glimpse of me. As I read and re-read. It's not all that bad, this blogging thing that is.
I guess you can teach a stubborn gal new tricks.