Less blah, with a side of possible silver lining on the horizon!

What's that you say? Is Erin creeping out of her pity party for one and actually seeing a glimmer of sunlight? No way!
Part of my slight leap out of my funk came in the form of a letter addressed to me yesterday. I saw that it was from the City of Santa Rosa and being that I am a glass half empty kinda gal, I immediately assumed that it was a "thanks but no thanks" letter for the job that I applied for in the beginning of March. I hesitantly opened it, ready to commence with the doom and gloom that comes so easily for me. Wait, what does that first line say? I read it again. Congratulations. Well, I may be a chronic naysayer but I know for damn sure that denial letters don't start with congratulations. I read on. The powers that be have seen fit to invite me to participate in the next step of the hiring process. A written examination. YAY! Never have I been so happy to be invited to take a test! The test is for the Meter Specialist position that I wrote about previously. You know, the one where it said that I must be comfortable with possible tense situations? hee hee. The test is standard for a city job and I am super duper stoked. I wish April 14th was tomorrow!!
Adding to my good mood was the Tattoo convention that Rick and I attended with Joel and Taryn yesterday. Side bar- even if all we did was sit on a curb in the worst neighborhood in San Francisco and watch the crackheads jitterbug on by, it would have all been worth it to see Taryn walking upright and not wincing with every step. I tell ya, to see someone who is SO important to you walking normally and without pain really makes you appreciate what's really important in this life. Fuck the fact that I am unemployed. My cherished friend is on the road to recovery and that my friends, is simply the best thing ever.
Ok, back to the topic on hand. Tattoo convention. There were some amazing artist's and an incredible amount of freaks. I use the term freaks lovingly, of course. $22 bucks to get in seems a bit steep, until you get in there and get a load of the people. There is such a mish-mash of society present. You have your gangsta types, your punks, your rockabilly's, your pin-up/wannabe Bettie Page girls. You have mom's, dad's, business people, jocks. All brought together in one place and all for the love of body art. It's pretty awesome. I am sad to say, however, that I did not come home with any new ink. All it did was make me crazy wiggly to get some new ones. I did get some new idea's for future work (ink, not employment).
On the slightly down-side of things, I broke the toilet. The handle of the toilet to be exact. I had know idea the extent of my super strength. There was a crack and the handle went all wobbly. Thank god Rick isn't home. Wicked bummer that we only have one bathroom. I am left with a quandary. Do I attempt to fix the malfunction? What do I know about toilet handles other than the fact that went you use them, flushing happens and things are emptied. Ask me what happens after that and I could tell you in great length. All the way till the end when the water gets puts back to new. I will not bore you with talk of lift stations and force mains. I think I am going to google toilet mechanics.
Well, the sun is shining, birdies are chirping, Rick is out golfing and I am going to go to a nursery to get some flowers and do some gardening. Oh and possibly fix the goddamn toilet. More so, I am ready to start a new week. A new chapter, really. I am ready to climb out of this funk. I will find a job. Things will get better.

update!
I am all that is woman!!! A trip to Lowe's, a tri-tip sammich, a diet Pepsi and a Charleston Chew later...my toliet is fully functional and flushing just lovely!

blah

Am feeling kinda worthless today. No, this isn't a post, fishing for compliments and needing positive affirmation from my friends and loved ones, though those are always nice. I just need to vent a bit.
I need a job. I need motivation. I need to get dressed and take a fucking shower. I need to get on some kind of track. I need, I need, I need. The fact that I can't even get my ass in gear to get up and go get cigarette's is infuriating. There is a basket full of laundry that I can't even bring myself to look at. I know I need to make something for dinner, but the simple thought of getting dressed and going to the store is making me sad. I have spent the last 2 hours online looking for jobs. I can't find anything. It is such a pretty day and I can't even bring myself to enjoy that. My task for today? Water the plants and clean up the back yard. Easy enough right? The whole process will take me all of 15 minutes, yet I can't wrap my brain around getting up and getting to it. The construction gig is so far out of reach that it is off my radar now. I have applied for 2 city jobs, but have not heard a peep. I know, I know, city jobs take forever, I know this, but it's just a bit slamming to my pride. I am about 2 steps to going back to Costco, something I vowed never to even think of, but fuck..I need something!!!! I want to work. This staying home thing has gotten ever so stale and I am done. I love my cats, but even they are looking at me like "why the fuck are you always here?". I know, enjoy the time off Erin. What the fuck do you have to complain about? There are people out there that are working their asses off, just scraping by and I am sitting here in a house that I own with a brand new car and time to do with whatever I please. Poor me right? Well, here is how I feel today. I don't own this house, Rick does. The new car? Rick's. The money that puts food on the table? Rick's. It comes from the blood and sweat that Rick pours into his job every day. He gives 200% of himself everyday, to keep us afloat and I can't even get it together to do his laundry right now. He has been so good during all of this. Of course, there are little jabs here and there, but he doesn't mean it. He is the foundation of all that is us and frankly, the guilt is starting to creep in. I need to feel like I am contributing. I will never make the money that he does, I know that, but I need to feel like I am helping out. Like I am bringing something to the party. I always used to joke that I would love to sit around and eat bon-bon's all day, lounging and watching day time TV would be the life for me. Well, the bon-bons are fucking fattening and have lost their flavor and day time TV sucks. I'm over it.
On the upside, I had a pretty great weekend. There was 3 hours of studying and working on a math project with the boys for my poop class, followed up with drinking and merriment. Easter was spent, just Rick and I, randomly driving around and enjoying each other's company. A late afternoon visit with Mel and Leland capped off a nice weekend and Rick and I spent Sunday night on the couch, eating popcorn and candy and watched a movie called Stardust. It was really a cute movie and I highly recommend it. There, had to end this depressing post somewhat happy : )

6 hours

Oh, just think of all the fabulous things you can do in 6 hours. 6 hours! I can practically make it to Disneyland in 6 hours. I can make it to Tahoe and almost home in 6 hours. I can fly to Vegas, lose my house payment, get deliriously drunk and make it home in time for dinner in 6 hours. When I was working, 6 hours meant I only had 2 glorious hours till my shift was done. I can watch 3, maybe even 4 of my favorite movies (well, 2 if I chose The Godfather and Braveheart) in 6 hours.
So what is all the fuss in regards to 6 hours you ask? Where is this penchant for all that is dramatic coming from Erin? Oh I will tell you. There are words to be written about 6 hours. Not all of them excessively friendly either.
Some back story first. My shit class teacher gave us our mid term to take home, due to a scheduling conflict that was not going to let him be present during this week's class, when our mid-term was scheduled to happen. Since it was going to be open book and open note anyways, taking it home was not going to do any harm. The only clincher was that we upon finishing said test, we are to mail it to him and he is supposed to receive it no later that Thursday, the 20th.
So first, we are in kinda of a time crunch. Yes, I have to mail it only a couple towns away, but who knows how long snail mail takes these days? Friday was a no-go, I had plans. Same deal for Saturday. Sunday is the day I will work on my test and get it in the mail. Sweet, no harm no foul. All systems will be fully functional and ready to bust out a kick ass mid-term. All was well. That is until I got a message from Leland on Saturday afternoon. He said it took him 6 hours to finish the mid-term and that it was crazy hard and he was angry. Now, Leland and are about the same in regards to the class. We both feel we have a good grasp on all the topics. Insert slight panic here. I woke up, got ready, got food, ate food and finally.. took all my books and notes out to the back patio and buckled down.
Hour 1.5: I have finished 3 questions, skipped 2 and am about to freak out.
Hour 2: Commence full, hair-pulling, swearing like a sailor freak-out.
Hour 2.5: 6 questions are completed, 5 skipped and I surrender. White flag! I'm done!
Hour 2 and 35 minutes: Rick comes over, kisses my head, tells me it will all be ok.
Hour 3- 7 ciggs smoked, minus some hair, close to tears
Hour 4- Rick comes over, kisses my head, tells me it will all be ok and hands me a Venti Starbucks latte
Hour 5- half done- 5 questions skipped. Still freaking out. Panic is replaced by shear anger. Anger at my brain, anger at my idiot teacher and his stupid fucking scatttered notes. Anger gives way to full red-blooded rage.
Hour 5 and 45 minutes: am wishing every horrible disease on my teacher. Just a little Ebola. Nothing fatal. Please let him get just a touch of Entomoeba Hystolitica (amoebic disentary). I step away and have a smoke in my cool new chair.
Hour 6- done . fucking done. I can't believe the end is here. Then I knock over what's left of my latte on my completed satanic mid term packet. oh fucking well. I can still read the answers and if the teach can't read it, then he can suck my butt.

So there you have it. 1 water, 1 diet pepsi, 1 venti latte, countless cigarettes and 1beer later and I am done. 6 hours of my life that I will never get back. And you know what absolutely kills me? I mean, seriously what really chaps my hide? If things had gone how teach wanted it to, we would have taken the mid term during class, which...may I remind you, is ONLY A 3 HOUR FUCKING CLASS. I would have failed for sure.

On the upside. The vile mid term is in the mail and I think I did well. Rick said that he is SO proud of me. He said that the old Erin would have given up and never gone back to class. That's what I love about that guy folks. Never once yesterday, during any of my hissy-fits did he come over and try to calm me down by talking. He was just there with a kiss or a hug or a coffee. It was awesome!

On the up upside. Today is St. Patrick's Day, one of my favorite days. An Irish Car Bomb and loads of Guinness is just what the Dr. ordered. I am going to spend the next 6 hours more wisely. Downtown Petaluma with my friends, drinking and having a laugh.

If you are feeling a touch of the Irish and go out, be safe and don't drink and drive. Have lots of Guinness or green beer and enjoy the fact that you didn't have to take a fucking 6 hour mid term.

'Éirinn go Brágh'!!!!!!

Wednesday's are super duper

Dude, I am annoying myself to the point of madness today. I am sitting here watching Disturbia for the 100th time. I'm not sure why I can't get enough of this movie. I have an inkling that I might enjoy watching Shia LeBouf a little too much. I may have to add him to my list of movie star crushes. He is a little cutie. Anyways, the house is clean, laundry is done and I am bored out of my gourd. I did apply for 2 jobs today. One is a Meter Specialist position for the City of Santa Rosa. Basically, it's walking around and reading meters to determine water usage. What caught my eye is a line that said "Communicating verbally face to face with customers, sometimes in tense situations", it totally cracked my ass up. Why tense I wonder? I've never been pissed of at a meter reader. Anyways, it seems like a good gig.. we shall see if they contact me. I did finally hear from the recruiter about the construction gig I mentioned long long ago. She said that the dude in charge wants to interview me, but wants to also interview someone with prior construction company experience. She told him that he doesn't need to interview anyone else, that he will want to hire me regardless, but he said find someone else to compare me too and that is the only way he will conduct said interview. She then said that she will have to find someone else to interview in addition to me. That was back on the 6th of March, so we shall see if she finds someone. Seriously though, like I can't fucking learn the construction industry? I didn't know anything about wine when I left Costco to go to Korbel and in 3 years I was running a million dollar a year department. I had NO CLUE about mortgages and was kicking ass and taking names at the HC tech support gig well above my projected training schedule. I feel like grabbing his noggin, putting him in a head lock and screaming. I CAN LEARN THE FUCKING BUSINESS,YOU DOUCHE! But I wont, cuz then I will be bored in jail, biding my time till I get bought by a bull dyke for a carton of smokes.
Speaking of smokes, I ran out of them this morning and had to drag my bootie out to get some. Double Yuck. While I was out, I thought it would be the a good idea to get some lunch. A burrito sounded lovely. Hey, wait a minute, there is a burrito shop right next to the cigarette place! How fortuitous!! Now, I know that both these places are right across the street from the high school, so I get dressed (seriously, I was going to go in my Pj's, but though better of it) and in my head I am trying to remember when lunch time is. Well, I went about 2 minutes before the youth of Rohnert Park descended upon the strip mall. I managed to get the smokes and the burrito right as the parking lot was filling up, and let me tell you..those little fuckers are wicked annoying and don't like to get out of the way of a moving vehicle. It took me a whole minute just to back out of the parking space, then another 3 to navigate my exit.
Now I am back, sitting on the couch, Soda in lap and burrito safely ensconced in my belly.
I think I might be in dire need of some Clariton D. I feel like poop. Not total bed ridden poop, just sinus headache and ever so slightly stuffed nose poop. Maybe a shower will help. Oh, shower then a beer. Now that sounds like a prescription to feel better!

Jaeger bombs

Jaeger bombs are deceptive little bastards in a glass. It's a cocktail, yes, and the Red Bull should provide you with an inkling that there may be an excess of energy coming your way, but man..3 or 4 later and the next time you look at a clock it's 5:00 AM, peeps are dropping off like flies and you are still raring to go. I can't say enough good about them. They are delightfully tasty and they provide you with the power to stay up to the wee hours of morning. The only bad thing about them that I can think of stems from a series of events that led our good buddy Joel not to be able to partake in them anymore. Let's just say, for humor's sake, Jaeger bombs make him wicked twitchy. Hee hee. The funny thing about the J-bombs is that separately, I do not enjoy Jaeger OR Red Bull. But together, it is the drink of the gods. Or the drink of the godless. Depends on how you see things.
Rick's birthday was this past weekend. He didn't want a huge deal, so a few buddies came over to play Rockband on the Xbox and imbibe in some alcohol. It was fun. We had a fire pit going, but ran out of Duraflames, so I am sorry to report that 4 old wood IKEA chairs met their untimely death on Saturday night. They were good chairs, many a fine ass has sat upon those chairs over the years. May they rest in peace.

That's all I have today. Not much to report in the exciting world of Erin.

Rick's got a new love in his life

No, it's not some big boobied trashy blonde contortionist that is a poker champ with a side business as a porno star and all fertile and whatnot...
It's the above: a 2008 Lexus IS 250 and our brand new car.
We couldn't have our fancy pants Assisitant Vice President of Talent Aquisitions rolling into Mill Valley in a Ford Focus, now could we? He is now officially a yuppie, folks.

slightly disgruntled again

Here I sit, blogging. It's Tuesday morning. No job interview yet. What's the deal with peeps not calling me when they say they will call me? Am I some "do not call" pariah? The recruiter was supposed to set me up for an interview with the construction gig I mentioned awhile back. So far, nothing. Turns out, the dude was out of town and she got the dates mixed up (she told me this last Thursday, in a message on my answer machine). She will talk to him when he gets back, which I thought she said would be yesterday. So far, no word. I am sad. I am not sad that I didn't take the tech support gig. I am happy about that. All signs point to "good move Erin". I just wish I could get an interview set up with this construction company. It sounded like something that was right up my alley. Maybe the dude had a chance to check out my resume and he didn't like it. Who knows. I am back to the drawing board, I guess. Time to start looking at craigslist and whatnot. I am getting complacent and I do not like the way that feels. I like to work. I want to work, I really really do.
Rick said find a job, get a plan together or get pregnant. YIKES! He is consumed with full on baby fever. I get it, his birthday is this weekend and it weighs heavier on his mind when birthday time rolls around. He wants to be a dad. He wants 2 kids, 3 years apart and at this point...it's not looking so good. I think he is frustrated because he wants to be a young dad. He doesn't want to be the old guy that isn't going to be around to see his grandkids. I guess I just worry that I am not going to be a good mother. Another low point is I don't wanna get fat. Well, fatter then I already am, that is.
AARRGGGG. I envy the people who have things figured out from the get go. The few that go to college and into the jobs they want. The ones that don't get stuck in a weird jobless limbo and wait to start a family till their slightly old-ish and their shit is not working. Ha, that last line made me giggle a bit. Sometimes I crack myself up.
I need to get back to my funny self. I worry to much these days. I guess nothing funny has happened lately.
I watched my nephews get the shiz-nit beat out of them this past weekend playing lacrosse. Well, Jimmy did. The older boys are considerably rougher than the 10 year olds. Jimmy did a great job though. He is captain of the team and was really getting in there and getting dirty. My little buddy. when did he get so grown up? He will be 18 next month and graduating high school soon after. *sigh* I remember the little boy that couldn't pronounce my name, so he called me Nernie. Who would argue with me to no end (dude, I was 15 when he was born, I had no idea how to talk to toddlers) and who loved to go to Burger King. He so adult now, but he still tells his Aunt Erin that he loves her and gives her hugs and kisses, which is all I can ever ask for. Jake, will be 11 tomorrow, which is nuts. I was in the delivery room when he was born and let me tell you..that was the best birth control ever. Birthing is a gross process. Lots of fluids and gooey stuff. Jake is a trip and I love him to death too.
Well then, I think I will shower and start my day. Maybe do some ironing and pick up the house.
woo-hoo.